Why I never felt alone with the nature

I sat on a bench named the 'Nature'

I could listen to 3 distinct cockroaches, the chirps of an orchestra of crickets, the howls of a pack of dogs, the quirks of an army of frogs, the meows of clowders of cats, the beep-jeeb-trrrr of several different insects

I could listen to the plants on which water was dripping, and the sound of the wind, the ticking clock on my watch, and also the fainting distant sound

I could feel the pebbles beneath my feet, wind touching my face, light on the eyes warmth of my body, the pulse of my heart, and firmness of the sand.

All these together seem so busy communicating to me, I was too busy to even acknowledge all of them.

All were waiting for my attention, but I couldn't do them justice. All was lining in the queue which I was too busy to address. 

At that moment, I felt I was not alone at all, I was in the lap of nature

Alone is the one who feels it in the crowd. 

Rantings of an Agnostic

There is no God

If there was one she wouldn't allow us to fight in the name of religion

There is a God

If not, who else would have designed the intricacies of the universe

There is no God

If there was one he would have not given humans free will and allowed us to reach the top of food ladder

There is God

How else do I explain the beautiful sublimities happening in my life

There is no God

If there is one, why would be plagued by COVID, AIDS, or Caste?

There is God

What else explains the world and its beautiful creations

Maybe God is in us of all. She is too big to fit in statues and locked in temples

Maybe God is Infinite and yet minuscule 

But definitely, she is not a narrow idea or an algebra problem to be solved

He is just there, Maybe. 

The Rain and the Sun

I want to see the plants destroyed
I wish to see the soil disappear from the ground
I want to see the roads deserted
I long to see people running in chaos
I want the clothes I wear to stink
I desire to be disturbed by the sounds outside my window
I want to slip and fall down under.

The plants I mentioned are the small growth in the pathway that collects the rainwater.
The soil I told is the one in the bed of pond which has gone dry due to the summer
The roads I mentioned should get deserted due to heavy downpour
I want people running in chaos because they would look for shelter when it rains.
The clothes may stink because I wish it rains so much that the Sun doesn't come out to dry my clothes.
I wish to be disturbed by sounds of thunders, thuds and the heavy rains
I don't mind slipping the steps and falling down under if they are soiled by rains.

It's not that the sun is shining any brighter
It's just that the clouds are absent now.

You get there when u get there

Sitting on a wooden bench and reading a lazy book is almost forgotten

Gazing at the stars and opening your mouth in bewilderment has become old school

Listening to the distant drummers at the temple is laughed upon

Watching the distant lights and trying to figure out a pattern among them is retarded

Feeling the gentle winter breeze and smelling the odorless roads is almost non-existent

Waiting for the lights to go out and watching the naked sky in amazement is almost forgotten

Marveling at the old songs from the radio is now only found in books

Doing nothing and penning down a poem Might almost seem historic

If leaving behind all of these is modern, sophisticated and wise

Mother nature, I'm happy to be archaic, simpleton and foolish. 

On Evolution

As I dig deeper into the literature of human evolution, I’m filled with anger. On one side it’s my foolishness to be angry at the human evolution because that’s the very reason, I’m currently typing in my laptop with my favorite snack at my disposal and in all probability the sole reason for my birth in the first place.

The term “Evolution” popularised by Charles Darwin, although represents a widely accepted theory of origin and thrival of our species, represents something more than that. On one hand (radically), it represents the refusal to the biblical way of human birth and argues that humans evolved as the greatest species because, well, “Survival of the fittest”. This side of the argument doesn’t bother me, in fact, it does enlighten me in understanding how we came this far. It merely tries to tell the tale as it is. In research jargon, it’s just a theory which states the occurrence of a phenomenon. The other, rather crude and disgusting side of the story which gives me sleepless nights is the story of ruthless murder and mass execution by our species which got us so far. There is, however, one disclaimer that I wish to bring to your attention before I proceed with my further story. Given that I believe in the evolution story of Darwin, maybe I can’t call this whole route taken by the human race as barbaric because, when I don’t subscribe to popular beliefs of any religion, I can’t judge an act to be correct or wrong, let alone me getting angry at it.

Records show that humans are in general ruthless and born to kill. Take for instance the case of Australian Megafauna which was home for thousands of species of giant animals. Most of them mysteriously disappear once the human settlement begins there. The same story repeats in the American continents and many other places. Although the scientific community is divided into many opinions, the popular conclusion is that the Homo sapiens kill all the species that are wild and untameable and let those species live, which could be domesticated.

The fight which begins between species millions of years ago boiled down to inter-species conflict, where one clan displaced others like how the natives of America were driven out, how the Indian were suppressed, Moriri’s were usurped by Maori’s, the list is never-ending. If this phenomenon of driving out and settling down is what we term as evolution, then I’m sorry to have been born. While some of you might argue that change is the only permanent thing and the evolution is nothing but a form of inevitable change, I would still agree with you. First, the humans were hunter-gatherers, then came the agricultural revolution and now the industrial revolution. Those who couldn’t keep up with the pace and get on board any of these revolutions has perished. History has told this story again and again.

However, one indisputable fact is that we humans have “evolved” to be more intelligent creatures. I’m not sure if we have become so capable of overpowering the nature and resist change. But I strongly believe (or at least want to believe) that we humans are capable of changing the direction of change/evolution. Thus given that change is inevitable, why we don’t change for good or evolve into a more “caring” species than continue to be a dominating one.

With two questions, I would sign off for now, how do we define a more “caring” species and how can we become one.

Deconstructing "Peniviti" Song from Aravinda Sametha

This song is bound to shed a tear or two in the eyes of the people of Rayalaseema and those who have been part of this barren yet fertile, ruthless yet kind, violent yet peaceful land.

Sung by Kaala Bhairava, this song depicts the cries of a typical woman from Rayalaseema who awaits her husband who has gone hunting down and to take part in violence. Hats off to Ramajogayya Shastri for such wonderful lyrics.

The least I could do is to make a literal translation of this song and tell others the tragedy and the sadness that has inflicted our region and its people in past.


Telugu: Niddarani irisesei Reppalni therisaanu
Nuvvocche dhaarullo Choopulni parisaanu

English: I have forsaken my sleep and opened my eyes
I have laid my sight at your homecoming path.

Onteddu bandekki raara..
Sagileti donkallo padilanga raara

Come home safe in atleast a single ox driven carriage.
Come home on the banks of the river Sagileru (Tributary of Penna river, which flows through rayalaseema)

Naligeti naa manasu Guruthocchi raa raa
Galaboti koorondi Pilichina raa raa

Come home to my worrisome heart,
Come home to the galaboti (made of mutton) curry, 

Penimiti enni naallainadho
Ninu zoosi kallaaraa
Ennenni nallainadho
Ninu zoosi kallaaraa

Its been long since I've had a glimpse at you, my Penimiti (husband)
Its been very very long

Chimmati cheekati Kammati sangati
Erraga kumpati Ecchaga duppati
Kommallo sakkati Koyile okkati
Kommallo sakkati Koyile okkati

The dark night, the delicious sangati (Staple delicacy of Rayalaseema)
The red brick stove, the warm blanket
A beautiful koel amongst the branches of the tree

Gundene gonthu chesi Paadathandhi
raa raa penimiti

All of them have turned their heart into their voices 
To call you back home, Penimiti

Polimera dhaati poyavani
Polamaaripoye nee dhaanini

I get sick when Im reminded that
you have crossed the boundaries of the village

Kodavali laanti ninnu Santi vaadini
Konguna daasukune aali manasuni

Im the wife who hides a small kid who holds the kodavali (a farm tool used popularly to inflict violence) in the folds of my saree

Soosi soodaka sulakanu seyaku
Naa thala raathalo Kalathalu raayaku

Dont ignore me, Dont belittle me
And dont you change my fortunes with your doings

Thaalibottu thalusukoni
Tharali tharali raa raa penimiti

At the least, come home to the memory of the holy knot/thread 
You have tied to me, Penimiti

Naragosa thaake kaamanduve
Nalapoosavainaa kantikandave

Come and stay in my eyes, you, who 
is always in embroiled in the violence of killing others and getting killed

Katiki yendalalo kandipothivo
Ragathapu sindulato thadisipothivo

In the scorching heat, are you hurting yourself
Are you drenching in the bloody bloodshed

Yelaku thintivo ettanuvvuntivo
Yeta katti thalagadai Yeda pandukuntivo

Im not sure if you are eating on time
Or if you're sleeping with the hunting knife as your pillow

Nuvvu ganna nalusunaina
Talasi talasi raara penimit

At the least come home to the 
memory of the kids you have given birth to Penimiti
Come home Penimiti, Come home.

Why so happy about "Happy Birthday"??

29th of August was my birthday. Everything was just fine, except that I wasn't extraordinarily jubilant just because I was born on that day 25 years back (the idea of "year" is itself a fictitious one) (and among those, the one we follow, i.e. Gregorian is another fiction (fictional construct, to be more specific) humans came up with).

And why should I be jubilant? If we look at it from another side, we are actually, on our so-called birthday's getting closer to our death. We are getting a year closer to death (assuming that the cause of our death would be natural aging). Or should we celebrate that we survived another year in this brutal world? If that's the reason, then why don't we celebrate every month, or week or even better, every day.

Come to think of it, we feel good just because all the people we know, wish us "Happy Birthday" and it satisfies our ego or self-centeredness. We all want people to pay attention to us, and birthday is the day when we get the most of the attention (except some exceptions). So are we celebrating a day just because our ego is satisfied? How good or sustainable is that joy?

Some people may argue, what is the fault in finding a reason to be happy? Absolutely nothing. But is that (fictional) construct sustainable and sensible in the first place? If not well founded, it might lead us into hurting us more than bringing joy

Or maybe its the conspiracy of the capitalists that we celebrate something called a "birthday" so that we end up spending non-productive expenditure on birthday cakes, balloons and all the usual useless garbage (which are highly not-environmentally friendly). Do not mistake me for a sadist or a perennial negativist. In fact, I'm the opposite. When we mark a specific day for celebrating our birthday, aren't we making ourselves sad on the very next day, when it's not our birthday? We "may" end up being not so happy for no good reason. Think about it.

You may then argue, why do we have festivals? Most of the Indian ones I know are celebrated because our ancestors identified some deep rooted reasons. For example, my favorite Makara Sankaranthi is celebrated to mark the arrival of farm harvest. Our forefathers mostly being farmers, used to feel happy and celebrate the welcome of harvest and thank the gods (by gods, I mean nature, not the one who "reside" in stones or pictures).

In the midst of all this confusion, when my mom called up me and asked, "Did you wear a new dress today??" all thoughts just went belly up.