Monday 15 September 2014

The Rutland Mystery- I


              Jas was walking slowly in the Rutland Street with a relaxed gait wondering how boring his office tomorrow would be. He was in awe why he had to be a human and immediately wished that he had given up his job.

              Suddenly the bustling street fell into silence amidst which, he was in a world of his own. Two cars stopped in the center out of which 3 men and 4 beastly men stepped out. One person pointed his finger towards Jas and the other nodded his head but immediately shook his hand disapprovingly. It was too late. The beasts were on the leash. Impatiently they drew their armoury; knife and a hockey stick and advanced towards Jas.

               Jas who was unmindful of all this commotion abruptly felt a sudden surge in his abdomen. A deep surge he had never felt before. In what seemed like a confusion more than a demolition he tried turning back to take stock of the situation, when he felt a heavy wooden thud on his skull followed by a power packed punch in his ribs before he gave up. The beasts were all over his sight as he laid bleeding and weeping on the road. He then saw their smiles turn to frown upon hearing a fading police siren coming closer and closer. The goons were more than dejected and immediately fled the scene leaving Jas lonely and quizzed. He meanwhile was wondering how his life turned upside down in less than a minute. Shocked and wounded he could not move a limb. He guessed this is how he had to die. And suddenly it started raining. He was happy that god granted his last unasked for wish.

                 Later when he entered heaven gates, he spoke “God I wanted to give up my job, not my life.” But at the same time was wondering how he landed in heaven in spite of all his misdeeds weighing more than the good ones. He felt fishy and felt the odour of rotten, nasty fish. Something was wrong .Terribly wrong. All of a sudden he gained conscious and opened eyes to find himself in a dark room. He was still confused “Am I dead or alive or in deathbed or in the middle of a night mare and wait “Where am I?””

                While Jas was busy evaluating all these options he got the answer when someone turned on the light. This single satisfying reply cleared all his doubts. “I am alive” he breathed.


TO be continued....

3 comments:

  1. The words were properly chosen to maintain the theme of the Story, for example in this story the main theme was a thriller. That feel was well carried till the end. the words which were used did not alter the feel of the theme that easily

    It was very nice machi

    It seems that it would be the advantage, the usage of words which doesnt alter you main feel of the content

    Waiting avidly for Part 2

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  2. Nice title....
    Kindly try and use some desi title next time....after all we would like to get connected to the places we know about.....
    Could have have left the closure open ended---for the thrill to continue.....
    Eagerly waiting for the sequel..............
    Finger's crossed
    MOTFL.....

    ReplyDelete
  3. Awaiting eagerly for the continued part......
    The main feature of any genre's writer is to keep his readers lured and able to play with their imagination and u my friend have done just that with the above excerpt......

    ReplyDelete